i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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