Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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