we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
