theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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