I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
