they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
