I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
