So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize