Dual....:-)
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
