We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
