i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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