It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
