how can u be prego again
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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