i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
