It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
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I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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