So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
