we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
