thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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