The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
