He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize