i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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