I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
