I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize