i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
