3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
