i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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