dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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