love makes seman taste better
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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