So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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