sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
