Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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