the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
