Your tits are I can't wait for
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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