The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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