Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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