when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
