So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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