the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
