I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
