i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
