about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
