her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize