It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
