What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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