We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
