i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
