the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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