I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
