i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
