we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
