Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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