he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
