Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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