Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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