that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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