ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
