whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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