I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
