Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
