I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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