I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
