Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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